A Comedy By J M Barrie - Part 2

ERNEST. Why? (Brilliantly; but to be sure he has
had time to think it out.) You see, as the servants are
to be the guests I must be butler. I was practising. This is a tray,
observe.

(Holding the footstool as a tray, he minces across the
room like an accomplished footman. The gods favour
him, for just here LADY MARY enters, and he holds
out the footstool to her.)

Tea, my lady?

(LADY MARY is a beautiful creature of twenty-two,
and is of a natural hauteur which is at once the fury and
the envy of her sisters. If she chooses she can make you
seem so insignificant that you feel you might be swept
away with the crumb-brush. She seldom chooses,
because of the trouble of preening herself as she does
it; she is usually content to show that you merely tire her
eyes. She often seems to be about to go to sleep in
the middle of a remark: there is quite a long and anxious
pause, and then she continues, like a clock that hesitates,
bored in the middle of its strike.)

LADY MARY (arching her brows). It is only you,
Ernest; I thought there was some one here (and she also
bestows herself on cushions).

ERNEST (a little piqued, and deserting the footstool).
Had a very tiring day also, Mary?

LADY MARY (yawning). Dreadfully. Been trying on
engagement-rings all the morning.

ERNEST (who is as fond of gossip as the oldest club
member). What's that? (To AGATHA.) Is it
Brocklehurst?

(The energetic AGATHA nods.)

You have given your warm young heart to Brocky?

(LADY MARY is impervious to his humour, but he
continues bravely.)

I don't wish to fatigue you, Mary, by insisting on a
verbal answer, but if, without straining yourself, you can
signify Yes or No, won't you make the effort?

(She indolently flashes a ring on her most important
finger, and he starts back melodramatically.)

The ring! Then I am too late, too late! (Fixing
LADY MARY sternly, like a prosecuting counsel.) May I ask,
Mary, does Brocky know? Of course, it was that
terrible mother of his who pulled this through. Mother does
everything for Brocky. Still, in the eyes of the law you will be,
not her wife, but his, and, therefore, I hold that Brocky
ought to be informed. Now--

(He discovers that their languorous eyes have closed.)

If you girls are shamming sleep in the expectation that
I shall awaken you in the manner beloved of ladies,
abandon all such hopes.

(CATHERINE and AGATHA look up without speaking.)

LADY MARY (speaking without looking up). You impertinent boy.

ERNEST (eagerly plucking another epigram from his quiver).
I knew that was it, though I don't know everything. Agatha,
I'm not young enough to know everything.

---will be continue......

Wow, It's great right...
Will continue on 15 February 2013...
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